Butterflies

I am sitting at work today with butterflies in my stomach and I cannot get them to go away.  I am nervous for the rest of the week to happen.  Tomorrow Mike and I go for our 20 week ultrasound.  I should be thrilled, right?  I am, but I am also really nervous given the past year we have had.  People keep asking me if I want a boy or girl and I mean it in the most sincere and honest way when I say, "All I want is a HEALTHY baby."  On Thursday my Dad starts his last round of chemo.  After he has finished they will do a PET scan in a couple weeks to see if they got all of the cancer or if further treatment is necessary.  On Friday my sister Marissa has her c-section scheduled to deliver their long awaited baby boy.  I am SO excited for her and Pat, but I can't help but feel their anxiety and nerves as well.  So as I sit here swinging my leg, picking at my cuticles, and thinking of all the different directions this week could take-- I thought it may help to calm my nerves if I could get my thoughts out.

Mike always tells me I worry to much and always think of the worse case scenario, which I do.  I can't help it though-- it's not like I ask for these horrible thoughts, they just come to me. So I worry and get butterflies and pray.

Chances are my ultrasound will go great and we will find out if we are having a healthy baby boy or baby girl.  Chances are the chemo did its job and my Dad will be cancer free and all of the horrible pain and sickness he has gone through will be worth it in the end.  Chances are my sister will have a healthy, beautiful baby boy to hold and love on.  Chances are this will be a great week for our family.

But today, I'm nervous...